For Mom

I had the great honor of speaking at my Mother's service.  I've been asked by a few to send them a copy of it.  I thought you might enjoy reading it.  

For Mom:

When i think about my Mother so many words come into my mind.  Strength, courage, grace and compassion, just to name a few.  My Mother started me on many a journey and had the wherewithal to see me through some of those paths with the kind of super human support one can hardly express.  The first obvious path was that of music.  I remember very distinctly attending church choir for the very first time.  Mom explained it to me like it was a new exciting group of children i would get to play with.  I remember Mr. Wilson teaching me about the lines and spaces of the staff an I honestly don’t remember a time when I couldn’t read music.  That is because of my Mother.  Mom was my first accompanist.  This is a very special relationship that requires patience, strength, trust and a good sense of humor.  Mom played for every solo and ensemble competition I attended...we always got 1’s by the way.  She was there on that fateful day with Dr Margaret Forrest from West Texas A & M was my judge and inquired about my college plans.  Mom just smiled a wry grin and told me it was my decision as to where I attended school.  I chose WT of course, who am I to intervene with fate?

Mom helped me move to Philadelphia when I was accepted into the Academy of Vocal Arts there.  We walked that city for days trying to outfit my new apartment.  I mean really, where do you buy a broom in center city Philadelphia?  She stayed with me a week and helped me transition into a new phase of my life.  One that brought me not only a fine education but my closest and dearest friends in the world. 

She journeyed with me as i began my career. She once told me that all anyone needed to prove that there were angels in heaven was to listen to me sing. She cheered every new engagement, triumphal audition or milestone. Listening and comforting me when the realities of a life in show business just seemed insurmountable.  At one particularly difficult juncture, after years of knocking down doors and many nights spent in corporate apartments throughout the land I found myself pretty burnt out.  I didn’t particularly share the details with Mom but she knew I was growing weary.  She simply said: Well, Melissa, all you have to do is have a little faith.  This was after years of putting them through the rigors of the uncertainty of my profession.  She boiled it down so succinctly and whenever any darkness creeps into my spotlight i always call up her words as a talisman against negative and bleak thoughts.  

My Mother was a fierce supporter of Pam and I.  She truly was the queen of the Momma grizzly club.  She fought for us in a most elegant and graceful way. She was never overbearing or obvious with her fight.  She stood by us with a quiet strength that bespeaks of the true southern lady she was.  Often times her target wouldn’t know what hit them until days later.  She was that good. 

Mom took great pride in her appearance and ours.  She taught Pam and I the ins and outs of presenting ourselves in the best possible light.  She also gave us the power to develop our own personal style and wear it with the same pride that she had.  It is a gift that has benefited me time and time again. I am comfortable in any social situation because of the tools my Mother gave me. It may seem like an odd thing to cherish but giving a child the ability to be comfortable in their own skin is a gift that defies explanation.

Mom was also a social butterfly, in her way.  She loved people and events.  The chance to gather with her dear friends and family always brought such light to her life.  She cared so deeply for the ones she loved that many times I would catch her sitting and watching in delight as someone regaled them with a wild tale of adventure or funny story.  I loved watching my Mom go from table to table at a big event.  She seemed to float on air as she greeted everyone and caught up on the days comings and goings.  I watched her in awe at my sisters wedding doing this very thing while the rest of us were so tired we could hardly keep our eyes open.  She loved her friends, family and sweet sisters of Chi Omega with a reserved ferocity.  Words haven’t even been invented yet to describe the deep and unending love she shared with my Father.  Their life together is a testament to all that is right with the institution of marriage. They set a perfect example of love and delight for my sister and I.

Mom’s generosity knew no bounds.  She often bought items for people in the grocery store when they didn’t have enough money for the extras...like ice cream for a family that couldn’t afford it.   Our house is still flooded with calls from the charitable organizations that she gave too.  I remember as a teenager stopping to give a man a 5 dollar bill who was hungry.  Her heart knew no bounds.  She tried to impart that lesson to my sister and I.  Mom demanded very little of us but an open compassionate heart was at the top of the list.

Of all of Mom’s many gifts and talents my favorite was her sense of humor.  I’d like to think I have a little of that in me.  Of course, her timing was always better than mine and I could always count on her for a quick come back or an easy laugh.  I loved laughing with my Mom and I did it often.  For that I will be eternally grateful.  

Wilfred A Peterson wisely wrote about the Art of Living Forever:

...As you help people grow, as you work for peace, understanding and good will, your influence will merge, with the good influences of people of every age, and the eternal golden stream of God’s goodness..

As you throw the weight of your influence on the side of the good, the true and the beautiful, your life will achieve an endless splendor.  It will go on in others, bigger, finer, nobler than you ever dared it to be.

These words speak to the art that was my Mother.

Please know that she loved you all so much.  She’s here now going from row to row thanking you for coming and asking that you look after us.  

I love you Mom