Hello dear readers,
I know it's been quite a while since I have put finger to keypad but life rollicks along at an unrelenting pace at times. The pace has been a good one. Lots of work and family time have filled my coffers and I am so grateful for the opportunities afforded me. Honestly, I purposely stayed away from the blog at the holidays because I just couldn't handle writing about the first Thanksgiving...the first Christmas....first this first that...since my Mom left our world. It seemed morbid and quite frankly I wasn't strong enough to share my feelings and experiences.
Now it comes down to the biggest "first of all". A Herculean hurtle of a day that has me at one moment staring off into the distance and at another frantically tackling a long laundry list of to do's. It has been raining for two days here in New York. Persistent gentle rain accompanied by fog and an opaque gray sky. I awoke this morning to a gentle breeze and a dense haze rising off of the Hudson River. It is almost 60 degrees here and the warm rain hitting the icy waters has created a giant halloween cauldron out of the river. It was quite the site. I watched with disbelief as wave upon wave of fog rose and billowed away. It felt as if the fog would never lift and the clouds were a permanent fixture in my little upstate manhattan world. Grey feeling joined Mother nature and I retreated to my bed where I have been nursing an out back for the last few days. I had planned a long day of activites for myself. Manicure/ Pedicure, movie and shopping, a museum stop and a trip to the Chelsea flower market all to celebrate my Mother's love of beautiful things. And yet, I sit here rooted to my leather club chair, sporting my uniform of yoga pants and tank top, scouring the on demand channels for distraction. My energy level is beyond low and although I've had coffee and sustenance I am lethargic and wanting. Then the tiniest little spring breeze broke through my apartment. Yes, i said spring. The low lying cement clouds seemed to shuffle off and a little peak of blue sky shone through the mire. I glanced up to see the small forming of a rainbow on the horizon.
Such is life I suppose. At times so fogged in that even the possibility of a glimmer is beyond comprehension. But the light always breaks through and signs are sent from Heaven to help us continue on and even relish and enjoy every moment of this precious life. My Mother was such a light and she graced me today with a sign I will carry in my heart for the rest of my days.
I love you precious Momma. I miss you every day but know that I carry you in the rainbow that is my life.
