Spring is struggling here in the big apple. The buds are pushing through with a stubborn east coast focus against this endless chill that has settled over the city. It is a clear, blue skied morning here in upper manhattan. The breeze flows through my gauzy curtains, even if it must worm its way across the heat blast of my out of control radiator. Even though the winter is long, spring in inevitable. It may take months to fully realize the transition but New Yorkers will once again be fanning themselves on subway platforms and complaining about the muggy, claustrophobic air that engulfs the city in the summer time.
Perhaps this year we won't complain as much. Knowing what a hard winter we had will somehow affect that inevitable "complain" sensor that most New Yorkers have. I have it. For example, I can't stand in line. I hate it. When I am out of the city and must stand in line I blame whatever part of the country I'm in, what country I'm in, the climate, attitude and general being of whomever has to be in my orbit as I'm waiting in line. Disneyland and I are not always on good terms because of this. Fast pass...really? But I digress. There seems to be a switch that flips when one thing moves to another. That itchy reserve nerve simply resonates to spew my displeasure at the situation. It is draining!
I am working hard to appreciate things when they happen, in the here and now. My life sometimes is a huge puzzle board of a waiting game. I WAIT for the next gig only to go on said gig and WAIT to get home to my loved ones. It is a vicious cycle that I had no idea I was a victim of, until recently. So, I'm making a pledge to remain in the now and be at peace with my situation. Whether it be a sitzprobe or waiting in line at a midtown Duane Reade, I'm going to resolve to take it as it comes. Yes, I'm hard core like that, have you ever been to a midtown Duane Reade? If I make it through this little experiment I will emerge on the other side a fully satisfied Melsy. It's a big goal, being in the hear and now. I've struggled to be present because I live in a city who is always looking 6 months in advance. For example I know that I will be sporting a lovely burnt orange scarf with my leather "moto" jacket this fall. Cannot wait!
So, dear readers i charge you to take a breath, be still and feel what you feel WHEN you feel it. NOW! and now and now and now. Who knows what treasures we'll find?
xo
~Mel
