I had the opportunity Saturday night to have dinner with some old and very dear friends. It was a wonderful uplifting time with some of the best posole I've ever had the pleasure of eating. Beyond that we had the chance to play catch up and to share with each other. Our hosts were sharing the story about how they met. It was a very sweet tale that included a real true blue love at first sight moment. Both of these people shared with me that before they met they had "set" their lives. Never did they believe that marriage was in their future. In fact, the wife in the relationship had even coined the term "matricidio". It is a combination of Matrimonio and Suicidio......the spanish words for marriage and suicide! I like the image of her being a bonzai bride, diving into her white dress with a mortal fervor.
I suppose being a woman of a "certain age" I have truly become set in my ways. My career demands that I travel a great deal and also requests a kind of selfish hyper focus that can sometimes build barriers in any relationship. I'm also not the societal norm of beauty. I know how to present myself and take pride in my appearance but I will never grace the cover of any fashion magazine. Also the fact that at my age my chances of being hit by a bus far outweigh the likelihood of me donning the bridal veil, at least according to Cosmo. These are little hurtles that sometimes make finding love difficult. Of course, who am I to complain? I've have some amazing relationships filled with passion and hilarity. I've shared company with brilliant minds and witty rakes. I've also suffered through about one million coffee dates. Ron and I have a litmus test for coffee dates. The success of the date is in direct proportion to the size of the coffee ordered. Sadly, I've had my share of single shot espresso dates but once in a great while a venti will come along. I haven't been on a coffee date since the introduction of the famed Trenti at Starbucks....now that would be a red letter day!
The question resonates in me as to whether or not I truly want to get married. After all if I really did wouldn't I have done it already? I've never been one to take no for an answer and if I had attacked the marriage challenge with the same ferocity I tackled my singing career chances are I would have the opportunity to celebrate a 50 year anniversary down the line. I guess I'm just waiting for the little spark of love at first sight. That breath taking moment when your heart skips a beat and your mind reels with the whirring sounds of cupids arrows. I know "Mr Trenti" is out there. When I find him you'll all be the first to know. I'll be the one strapping on my Vera Wang and screaming "MATRICIDIO" all the way down the rose petal covered aisle!
~Mel
Mel, I have no doubt that if marriage was your priority, you'd be married now.
ReplyDeleteWhen I was in my '20s I had a roommate who made husband-seeking her second full-time job.
She did marry, in her early '30s, following at least a decade as a semi-professional dater.
At the wedding, the minister noted that Lori had often prayed for a husband. He then turned to the groom and said, with great relief, "Michael, thank God for you."
Priorities change, life takes funny turns. If or when "matricidio" becomes a powerful enough draw for you, I'm sure you'll find it...and without divine intervention.
Oh Mel - this is so great!! Proud of you for sharing your thoughts on this all-important and difficult topic for all women (and most men, I suspect). Blessings as you go on your way toward - the altar, the Leaning Tower, or whatever (shores of Hawaii for a beach wedding?) Helen
ReplyDeleteJust remember how old I was when I finally got married. It will come when it comes--and the wait makes it just the more special.
ReplyDeleteWho wants to look like COSMO--boring!
L-J