There is a strange part of my lifestyle that many opera singers do not talk about. It is the mysterious, daunting, and sometimes maddening....DOWN time! I've been truly blessed with the work I've had over the years. My calendar is often full and I thrive off of challenges and busy schedules. I love working hard and when I am in the midst I am at my most happy. When I am not working, I'm often learning music, doing laundry and trying to find the social life I once had. Now, is such a time. Oh, I have projects I can work on. I have many recitals this season and am learning new music for all of them... excellent. But can one really translate and sing Brahms for 10 hours a day? Maybe a better woman than I.
I've had the amazing opportunity to actually TAKE a vacation this August. I visited friends in New Orleans and had such a fine time. I spent hours by the pool, drinking fruity drinks, laughing and basking in the south that i so adore. Honestly, why don't I live in the South? It's where I feel most comfortable and at ease. I've been on this side of the country for 20 years. I can hardly read the words and believe them. Honestly, I'm such a restless soul that anywhere I put down roots my itchy feet demand that I explore and travel this big blue marble.
One thing that I have noticed since my life has evolved is that I am an isolator and a bit of a loner. I LOVE people. I love my friends and family but there always seems a point when I need to be alone. I'm like Mom in that respect. She loved her circle but sometimes was most at home in her garden or on the back porch watching her beloved birds. She was so lucky to have found my Father early in her life and he understood this facet of her. Sadly, I don't have that luxury. When I'm alone, I'm alone and there are times where I wonder where the vivacious and social animal of my past went? Am I becoming agoraphobic? Am I simply a homebody who can spend hours reading, singing and clearing out the closet that seems to expand with each passing day. I realized that I know thousands of people but am close to few. My schedule is often so hectic that I've missed countless drink invites, dinner requests and parties over the years. For this I feel horrible. And so dear friends I'm offering a hearty apology. I want to be present in my life. I'm really working on this. It's easy for me to become so involved in a project that I shutter the doors and only emerge, suitcase in hand, jetting off to a new adventure and new friends.
Well, I'm making a pledge to plug back in and enjoy my life.
